To say my life right now is in a big transition is an understatement. I graduate in December with a degree in Elementary Education. The problem is that teaching positions are not easy to find in the middle of the school year. Sure, I can do another job but isn't the whole purpose of four years of college to finally be able to do what you love? It is so frustrating and stressful. I have to be really careful that I don’t let this stress me too much because stress triggers my seizures. It seems that life is always changing and for those of us who can’t get stressed out this can be a major issue.
I have been seizure free for almost five years now but that doesn't mean that I am not still weary of having a seizure. I am on Depakote and Keppra, and both have helped keep me healthy. I believe that medicine does some of the work, but how I live does the other part to keep me healthy. During these transitioning times, I have to make sure that I don’t allow myself to stress too much about not finding the “perfect” job. In time, I will find the job I want, but until then, I just have to keep my head up and not worry.
I have a problem with setting this plan for my future and thinking that anything besides that plan is a failure! That is not the case, but I am pretty hard headed, so it is hard to tell me otherwise. I have planned out having a job in a classroom and being settled. That isn't how the real world works though. Jobs are hard to find, and there is nothing I can do to change that. The older I get the more I realize that I can really only control so much, and anything beyond that I have to just have faith that it will work out. I learned a lot of this early on in my life due to being diagnosed with epilepsy. You learn that there is only so much about having epilepsy you can control. For me that would be getting enough sleep and not getting stressed. Those two things trigger my seizures, and I can control them for the most part.
Every college and high school graduate goes through the same transition I am going through right now. The difference is that my body doesn't react the way others does. This used to bother me, but over the years, I have learned my body and what keeps me healthy. I learned that in times of transition I tend to hide my true feelings or stress. I also learned that I have to communicate with either my husband or family how I am feeling so that I vent out some of my stress. Sure, Epilepsy has changed the way I handle these situations, but every person goes through them and has to handle the pressures. That is something that I have learned and it helps me not feel pity for myself. Epilepsy alters my life but it doesn't have to stop me from living! I may have to handle things differently than someone else, but every person graduating feels the pressure to get a job and succeed.
Thanks for reading & stay tuned for more of my adventures!